I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3
Being a member of a local church is an intimate thing. In order to obey the “one-anothers” of Scripture, there is a closeness that is assumed among the people of God. We are to know one another well enough to enter into the joys and sorrows of our brothers and sisters (Rom 12:15). We are to be invested in one another’s lives to the point that we can bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), pray for one another, and confess our sins to one another (James 5:16). We also must walk closely enough to be able to encourage one another (Heb 3:13), and, at times, even rebuke one another (Luke 17:3).
This closeness is a benefit for the people of God in every way, yet anyone who has lived in close community with another person knows that things can get messy. Offenses are bound to come. This happens between roommates, husbands and wives, children and parents, etc… The more two sinners interact, the more chances there are for misunderstandings, annoyances, and offenses. And when the church is most healthy, this will be even more the case.
Paul, writing to the Ephesians, also understands this. He has spent three chapters discussing the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ and his reconciling work on the cross. In chapter 4, he turns the corner and says, “Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Eph 4:1). The Ephesians, and ourselves by extension, are to live a life that makes sense in light of the gospel. And when Paul begins to flesh this idea out, he exhorts the Ephesians to display humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance toward “one another”. Is Paul suggesting that offences, annoyances, pride, and differences may arise in the church? Yes! This is part of being connected to a body of believers.
In the local church, there are a variety of types of people, all with different hang-ups, histories, personalities, likes and dislikes, habits and hobbies. And we are to function as a gathered group, in close fellowship and mutual gospel work to the glory of God. With a community like this, there will most definitely be times of discomfort. You will misunderstand others, and they will misunderstand you. Sometimes your mouth will work faster than your brain, and you will speak a harsh word. Personalities will sometimes grate against your nerves. Sometimes, a brother or sister will genuinely sin against you.
What should we do? Withdraw? Find another group? Live separated, angry, proud, harsh, impatient lives toward our brothers and sisters? No way! Consider our calling! Consider what we all have in common through Christ: One body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father (Eph 4:4-6). We are not given the option to reject and dismiss our brothers and sisters. We are to forgive and forbear. When we are inconvenienced or sinned against, we are given a unique opportunity to be humble and gentle, patient and forbearing. Even if the conflict means we must leave a local church, we should never let bitterness and anger remain against brothers and sisters.
So I exhort my brothers and sisters, be eager to maintain the unity that God has provided through his Spirit (Eph 4:3). Let the world know that we are his disciples by the way that we love each other (John 13:35). Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil (Eph 4:26-27). Remember the gospel! God has reconciled us in Christ, and has forgiven all our debts against him. May it never be that we fail to forgive the lesser debts.
© Jacob Crouch 2021, 2023
Aliens and Pilgrims 