I have four kids (and one on the way), and sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with the level of activity at my house. These four boys (7 and under) all have things to say and questions to ask, very often all at the same time. God in His wisdom only gave me one set of ears, so sometimes I have to stop the noise, start a line, and field questions one at a time. About two years ago, tired with a new baby and trying to answer those questions, I started to notice that my resting “Dad answering questions” face was beginning to look more like a “Dad tired of answering questions” face. So I decided to stop, look at my boys, and give them a big smile. And not to brag, but this was a great idea.
When I smiled back at them, I realized something: My kids were watching me. They were taking their cues from me. I smiled, and their eyes lit up. Their shoulders turned more towards me and they approached me more freely. They weren’t afraid of me before, but I could tell that the smile softened the mood. They knew I was tired, but they knew that I was happy with them. Dad was pleased with them. After that moment, I decided that I was going to purposefully smile at my children.
And this smiling not only affected them, but it affected me. I didn’t realize how tense I had gotten at their presence. I would see the mob of children coming towards me and the wave of noise rising, and I was tempted to be disappointed. I would begin to grumble in my heart. But when I take the time to stop and smile at them, I’m reminded at how truly fortunate I am. The smile reminds me that these boys are not just loud and wild (though they are). They are a blessing and a reward (Psalm 127:3). These “olive shoots” around the table are God’s blessing for the man who fears the Lord (Psalm 128). Smiling reminds me that I am really pleased with them, and I love that they feel safe and comfortable to come to me.
And it reminds me that God as my Father does not begrudge my coming. God sees the prayer of the upright as His delight (Prov 15:8). God tells us to “draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith” (Heb 10:22). Through Christ He removes our sins and pours out His compassion on us like a father to his child. He is mindful of our frame, and He pours out His steadfast love on us (Psalm 103). When I smile at my kids I am reminded that God is not angry with me anymore. He has poured out His wrath on His Son, and there is no more condemnation for me (Rom 8:1).
Smiling at my kids has helped them to know that they are welcome to come to me. I have noticed how they are more willing to come, and when I smile, it warms my heart to see their own faces brighten up and flash a big smile back at me. And I’m encouraged to remember that my God is pleased in Christ. It causes me to rest and come more freely to the throne of grace. Let the smile of God kill our grumbling and drive us to His presence.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
“Jesus I My Cross Have Taken”
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine?
Henry Lyte
Jacob Crouch 2023
Aliens and Pilgrims 