Trust the Lord in Your Marriage

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8

Generally speaking, we are commanded to trust the Lord. We are to trust Him with all of our hearts as opposed to leaning on our own understanding. We are to acknowledge Him in every way and to not be wise in our own eyes. And when we trust the Lord like this, He makes our paths straight and brings healing and refreshment. Whereas we are to trust the Lord in all our ways, I want to sharpen the focus to one area in particular: Our Marriages. We should trust the Lord in our marriages.

Maybe you’ve never thought about this before, but it is a common temptation to distrust the Lord in this area. Or maybe you’ve never been able to see that your anxiety, fear, unhappiness, or anger in your marriage is really just a symptom of a distrusting heart. David tells us, “those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You” (Psalm 9:10). Sometimes we need to be reminded of who our God is in order to strengthen our faith. Here are a few verses to help: “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works” (Psalm 145:17). “Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases” (Psalm 115:3). “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways” (Rom 11:33)! Our God does all that He pleases, and He works in perfect righteousness, kindness, wisdom, and knowledge. That is who we are trusting with our marriages. I want to highlight three specific areas within our marriages where we can apply these truths.

In Your Spouse

You can trust the Lord in whom you have as a spouse. Jesus tells us that God is actually the One who joins two people together (Matt 19:6). So you can trust that God has given you the spouse that you need. You have not married the wrong person. God has acted in perfect wisdom and kindness in how He has sovereignly joined you together. I am a hopeless extrovert, and my wife is a hopeless introvert. This could be an area of strife, but I’ve seen at least some of the good that God intended for me in my marriage. She pulls me in to rest and love my family, and I pull her out to encourage and be encouraged. God knows best, and I can trust Him.

Also, your spouse has not married the wrong person. You can trust that God has given your spouse the spouse that he or she needs. It can be tempting to distrust the Lord here and think, “My spouse really would be able to do better if he/she had just married someone else.” Wrong! God joins a man and a woman and makes them one flesh. You are actually the spouse that your spouse needs. So trust the Lord when you encounter things in yourself that are different than what you desire. God is committed to both your and your spouse’s sanctification, so trust that He is working in each of you to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil 2:13).

In Your Family

God can also be trusted in your family. Children, no children. Large family, small family. God is the grand architect of our families, and He works in sovereign kindness and wisdom when He orders them. This can be a tough area because often our desire for family may be met with difficulty and trial. The kids we want may never come, and the kids we have can prove to be difficult and cause us to have excessive grief. And yet, God has given us what we need. He can be trusted. When we are tempted to disbelieve this, remember that it is He who knits together in the womb (Psalm 139:13), meaning He is the one hand-crafting your family. God also has given your kids the parents they need; and just as with spouses, God has not made a mistake giving your kids you as their parents. In all your weakness and weariness, you are the parents that they need.

In Your Roles

Finally, you can trust that God has not made a mistake in your role within the family. Paul tells the Ephesians that the husband is to be the head of his wife and the wife is to submit to her husband (Eph 5:22-23). To be totally honest, being the head of my home is a terrifying prospect for me. My wife is smarter, kinder, and more thoughtful than I, and sometimes I really think she would do a great job leading. And yet, God has called me to lead. I can trust the Lord with the role that He has given me, and trust that He will give me what I need to accomplish His will. Likewise, my wife can trust that God has a blessing in her submission that she would otherwise be unable to see. God has not made a mistake. He has given us these roles in order to give effective structure to the home, and more importantly to image His gospel to the dying world. We don’t need to lean on our own understanding, but to trust Him.

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Trusting the Lord can be difficult, but not because God has shown himself to be untrustworthy. God proves to us in His word and in our experience that He is exceedingly trustworthy. He is always true to His word, and He is always faithful to His promises. The difficulty comes because we are all too eager to set our eyes on the world and not on God and His word. We can trust that God has ordered our marriages in such a way as to do us the optimal good and to bring Himself the highest glory. We can also trust that He will enable us and empower us to do the things that He commands us. May we be those who know His name and put our trust in Him. May we be done with distrust that causes us to be filled with anxiety and fear, and may we see this healing and refreshment that comes from acknowledging Him.

Jacob Crouch 2023

Note: This article is meant for the normal, healthy rhythms of a normal marriage. There are legitimate, biblical grounds to leave a spouse, for which you should seek counsel. Even in those hardships, God can be trusted, but that trust might take other forms in extreme circumstances.