Parents: You Don’t Have To Do Anything

“You have to let your kids watch/do/experience that! It’s so iconic. They’ll totally miss out!”

No. No they won’t. I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but parents, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. There is literally no one mandating the things that your kids must experience to be a full human being. Let me say it even more clearly: There is no movie that your kids must watch in order to function properly in society. There is no music your kids must listen to in order to really thrive. There is no destination that your kids must visit in order to really fit in. No one is forcing you to do any of those things. And while the world is trying to convince you that there are certain things that you must do for your children, I want to talk about the real imperative for all Christian parents.

Christian Parents Are Bound to Obey God

Christian parents have a duty to God, and God alone, in raising their children. “Each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Rom 14:12). God is the One who guides our parenting choices. If we know that we will give an account of our parenting to Him, why would we let the world have any say in what we do? We are commanded to, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). We are told to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov 22:6), and to take the commands of God and, “teach them diligently to your children, and … talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (Deut 6:7). Christian parents are bound by the Word of God to raise our children in the way that would most please Him. What He says is the guiding principle of every Christian parent.

Christian Parents Are Not Bound to Obey Men

A fact of living in a fallen world is that often, the things of the world are contrary to things of God. We as parents are called to navigate this world and train up our children by the principles of God’s Word. But even knowing this, it can be tempting to want to honor nostalgia or join in the world’s idea of fun and “good”, even when we feel the tug of our consciences pulling us a different way. We want our kids to be “normal” and “fit in.” The chief sin of the parenting world is to “shelter your kids.” But here’s the deal: As parents, we must obey God rather than men.

If there is a movie that everyone in the world loves, but you think it dishonors the Lord, you do not have to watch it. If there is a book series or musical artist that everyone around you says you “must” show to your kids, you are not bound to show it to them. Bluntly, no one can force you to violate your conscience in order to participate in leisure activities. No one is buying your kids a cell phone and forcing you to give it to them. Parents, you don’t have to do anything that the Lord has not commanded. And if the world calls that “sheltering” your kids, then so be it. I’d rather shelter my kids from an atomic bomb blast than guess what the effects of radiation will be.

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Sure, we as parents can go overboard and overly prescribe do’s and don’ts, and we must be careful that we do not bind others’ consciences because of our own, but we cannot let the world dictate what we must or must not do with our kids. No one is forcing us to do anything. Only God has the authority to command us, and we must follow Him. Christ has saved us, not to live for ourselves, but, “that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised” (2 Cor 5:15). So the next time you’re tempted to think that you must do something that violates your conscience to be a good parent, just remember that you don’t have to do anything.

Jacob Crouch 2024