Give Humble Counsel

Isn’t it interesting that the less you know, the more willing you are to give counsel? Now, don’t let me throw you under the bus to make me feel better; it’s an unfortunate fact that the less I knew, the more willing I was to give counsel. As a childless, unmarried, single man with no money, I was brimming with counsel about raising children, marriage, and money. And I didn’t just have counsel, I had the conclusive word from God. I had Bible verses; therefore I had the answer. But the interesting thing about God’s word is that it can be twisted (2 Peter 3:16), taken out of context (Matt 4), and must be rightly divided (2 Tim 2:15). I was very good at reading and applying the Bible, but I lacked discernment, wisdom, and humility.

And that’s the ugly truth: I was proud in my counsel. I would come in with guns blazing to tell you exactly what you needed to do and why. I cringe thinking back to the things I said to my family and my friends. And it isn’t even that I think my counsel was all that far away from the truth, but I was proud, and I didn’t leave any room for anyone else to be able to seek the Lord and come to a different conclusion. I had yet to really learn what it meant that, “we know in part” (1 Cor 13:9), and someone else might know the other part. Here are two helps for giving humble counsel.

Use the Bible

If we want to give humble counsel, we need to give people the Bible, rather than our own thoughts and opinions. Our brothers and sisters need to hear what God says. We humble ourselves under God’s Word and believe that what He says is better than what we have to say. The Psalmist writes, “Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors” (Psalm 119:24), and “I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation” (Psalm 119:99). When you give God’s word, you say like Daniel, “there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries” and that it is “not because of any wisdom that I have more than all the living” (Daniel 2:28, 30).

Leave Room To Be Wrong

Decisions are often complex; therefore counsel is rarely so straightforward as to contain the fullness of all the wisdom needed. Therefore, with an incomplete understanding, we must be aware that we can be wrong in our counsel. If we’ve given the Bible, that is one safeguard, but our interpretation of the situation might still be insufficient. We should offer counsel with God’s Word, and be humble enough to say to our brothers and sisters that they need to seek the Lord on their own. Remember, we only know in part, so we might be missing something. Only God has the full understanding of the situation, therefore we must defer to Him as we give our counsel.

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Through the years, and by God’s grace, I think He has taught me that there is a better, more humble way to offer counsel. It is still a Bible-saturated way, but it leaves room for people to be “fully convinced in [their] own mind” and to have their own faith before God (Rom 14:5, 22). It leaves room for the conscience (Acts 24:16) and the Christian discernment that is needed in the complexity of everyday decisions. I want to continue becoming more and more humble as I offer advice and counsel. I don’t want to be prideful, but full of love as I seek to grow more and more into Christ’s likeness.

Jacob Crouch 2023